9 holes

Yesterday I went with my stepdad to the driving range. It was my first time using a golf club (other than put-put). Bryon is teaching me a bit, and I hope to take lessons, and one day be able to play with him occasional weekends. I've never had an interest in golf, but he loves it, and it's always nice to have something to share with the parental units.

My impression of golf has always been that it's a boring leisure actiity of the bourgeousie. It doesn't appear to take to much effort on tv, and I've always held golfers in a certain amount of contempt. They're not real athletes, their game has a terrible social history in this country, they were funny clothes.

I haven't gotten over that social history thing, but I won't denigrate the athletic ability of golfers ever again. I only practiced with an iron for an hour and I am SO sore! my forearms, my shoulders, my biceps, even my abs!

(Speaking of abs, last night I went to a party (an invitation that came out of one of those Jewish social events I recently mentioned) and at some point it came out that one of my fellow party-goers has a picture of his abs on his phone. I don't know this dude, had never met him before, but I couldn't allow this fact to go by without comment: "You have a picture of your stomach on your phone?" (imagine this phrase dripping with incredulity). Another party-goer responds "Dave has really great abs." Me: "And so he wants to document them? I don't understand. Why do you need a picture of something you always have with you? If you want to show someone your stomach, why not just lift up your shirt?" (more incredulity). Another party-goer "Well, maybe there are times where it would be inappropriate to lift up his shirt." Me: "But showing a picture of his stomach is appropriate? Dude, that's just weird. 'You know, I've got a six-pack. Wanna see? Let me find it in the phone'" (as much incredulity as I could muster). Everyone laughed (except Dave) and someone else said "Well, you know, if he's wearing a suit, it'd get difficult." Me: "Oh yeah, all that untucking..." Yet another person: "or if there were a cummerbund."

(I feel a bit badly that I was laughing at this guy, and bringing most of the party with me, but then someone else, someone who knew this six-pack-picture-carrying dude from before that night, said "Dave, I want to see your abs. Not the picture, just lift up your shirt." Dave obliged, and, indeed, he does have a remarkable stomach. We were all dutifully impressed and the conversation ended. People are weird.)