Bad (Jewish) pick-up lines

Last night, my sister and mother and I went to synagogue. I wanted to go so that I could say Kaddish (the mourning prayer) for my aunt and cousin. My mom and sis wanted the same. After service, they have an Oneg Shabbat (literally, "joy of the sabbath," a little reception usually with food). I wasn't really present for the Oneg, and kept looking around. Once or twice, I looked up and this one guy made eye contact. I smiled, because when you make eye contact in synagogue, that's what you're supposted to do. Apparently, this fellow didn't realize that's what you do, and took my forced smiles as encouragment, because while I was standing alone at the fruit and cheese table he came up to me and, I kid you not, said "you come here often?" I couldn't believe it. I guess he thought he was at God's nightclub, and that that line actually was appropriate. "No," I lied, "this is my first time." My sister came up and, not realizing that this man, nearly old enough to be our father, was trying to pick me up, started chatting. That's what people do at these little receptions: chat. I told her that I thought our mom wanted to go. Luckily, she didn't argue with me.

Tonight, in an effort to get out of my shell, and to distract myself from myself, I went to a social event for twenty- and thirty-somethings organized by the synagogue. While sitting uncomfortably at a bar that is, so I am told, universally recognized as "Baltimore's trendiest," the young man next to me turned and asked "are your parents from outside the US?" "No," I replied, "they're actually both from Baltimore." "Oh," he said, "you have a very exotic look to you. I wondered if your parents might've been born somewhere else." Yep. You read that right. Exotic. Either this poor guy doesn't get out much, or that was the second worst line I've heard this weekend.